Lightweight but fun to write….so for your holiday enjoyment my take on the well known song:
The Twelve Days after the Twelve Days of Christmas Gifts
The Day after Christmas, the partridge (or doves?) gave to me,
The bird flu, what could I do? I ate a pear and drank whiskey.
The Second Day after Christmas the three hens calling from their coop,
Woke me up at 4 a.m., so I made some fine French Chicken soup.
The Third Day after Christmas after the geese flew south,
The pear tree died, and then the cows, they gave me hoof and mouth.
The Fourth Day after Christmas, the drummers gave their drums a rap,
The pipers shrilled and my true love? He just took a nap.
The Fifth Day after Christmas, the rings my true love gave me,
Turned my fingers green. It was a scene. I finished all the whiskey.
The Sixth Day after Christmas, the music played, my house was now a sty,
I was still drinking and my true love? He just kept asking why.
The Seventh Day after Christmas the eight maids and all ten ladies,
Took turns dancing with my husband and sitting on his knees.
The Eighth Day after Christmas was enough for me,
I sent the women packing, and asked the Lords to comfort me.
The Ninth Day after Christmas, my head did pound while the pipers played,
I just called my attorney and had some papers made.
The Tenth Day after Christmas, the neighbors finally called the cops,
When they arrived, they flatly said, the music had to stop.
The Eleventh Day after Christmas, the S.P.C. A. took the animals away.
Quietly I packed my bag and left that very day.
The Twelfth Day after Christmas, I sat by the silent sea,
And Lord Marleboro, my new love, came and sat by me.